Those of you who know me from various email groups, blogs, "real" life, and so forth know that I have been accursed with little visits to a hellish little place which I have dubbed "Planet Migraine".
I am on Day Three, going on Day Four of my little "interplanetary" excursion. The tree pollens, among other stressors, are sending me deep and far into the Migraine Galaxy with little relief. I am trying *really, really* hard to avoid a trip to the ER. I don't like the lack of respect the medicos show for my pain. Get with it, doctors! Migraine disease is a serious, serious neurological disease; it is not "hysterical female nerves". It's more than "just" a headache. Over the years during which I have been experiencing migraine disease, I have gotten to feel what it is like to lose my speech skills, have paralysis in my left arm, lose coordination of my feet, double vision, bump into walls and other things not unlike patients with Multiple Sclerosis do, and out-of-this world noise sensitivity - otherwise known as hyperacusis. My one major blessing in this is that I don't vomit, and yes, I do realize that is something to be much thankful for. Also, my internist knows what I am going through and treats me with dignity and compassion. It's the Urgent Care and ER doctors with whom I have bones to pick. I think they think I merely want pain medication. Lord, no! With CFS, I don't tolerate most medications well at all. I would be happy with an injection of magnesium from them, but... they only do that for women in labor to keep their blood pressure regulated.
ANYWAY, *enough griping*! I rediscovered a means of making time pass more quickly when I am in severe pain, namely - *drum roll, please!* Crayola Therapy! Also, I made the absolutely amazing discovery that coloring in Winnie-the-Pooh coloring books with Crayola crayons is much more relaxing when done in bed, propped up with eight fluffy down pillows, with a gray and white tiger kitty purring at my feet, than it is sitting hunched over my drawing at my writing desk.
SO, I gathered all of my crayons, markers, colored pencils, oil pastels, charcoals, calligraphy pens, and coloring books and arranged them on my bedside bookshelf. Betweeen naps and cussing-at-noises sessions yesterday, I passed time coloring Tigger and Roo hunting butterflies. I had *so much* fun (relatively speaking) at this that I betook myself to Amazon.com, ordered a great big box of new Crayola crayons and four "grown up" coloring books (I believe? all four are published by Dover - they are more detailed and pretty than Disney stuff - and at a much better price, too! I will still send my dad to the Dollar Tree when he goes on his monthly Wally World run next week, to find some Easter-themed $1 each coloring books. Reading the reviews of crayons and coloring books at Amazon, I learned that *many* adults color in coloring books for stress relief, pain relief, and general fun. Whew! I'm "normal"! *grin*
What's sad is that for Christmas two years ago, I received from my dad a small Wacom Bamboo Fun graphics tablet w/ pen and lots of good software, and then this past Christmas, I received from my mom a Wacom Intuos4 medium graphics tablet w/pen and even more good software. Add to this that *three* Christmases ago, I received Corel Paint Shop Pro Ultimate software from my dad plus IncrediMail's Letter Creator from Apryl for making pretty email stationery. Add to this that for free and/or for nominal donations, I have acquired some really nice graphics software (including but not limited to: Livebrush, Gimp, Gimpshop, Paint.NET, and Serif Draw Plus SE).
I DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO START DOING *SERIOUS* PROJECTS! It's like being a little kid in a candy store and not knowing which kind of candy to buy and to eat. So many fun digital art things to do, but there is the problem of learning the software. I'm not software dumb - honest, I'm not. It's just that the software I have is so amazing in the amount of things I can do with it that I just do not know where to begin! I doodle and make my very unpretty art therapy and poems drawings, and then I hide them on one of my external hard drives.
I am a left brain/right brain "Jekyll and Hyde". Most of the time, I live in the world of my left brain - reading, writing, etc. And then out of the blue I just kinda meander over into the world of being in my "right mind" (the artsy, photography, crafts oriented). It's either one or the other, but mostly it is left brain-dom. I wish I could strike more balance! :)
Ya know what I *really* want tonight? Play-Dough! I think I'll just grab my ice water and go back to coloring. Or maybe I will do some "word finder" puzzles. I am too sound sensitive to listen to even very. quiet. classical. music. The sound of my own breathing is simply thunderous! Would you believe that foam ear plugs make a noise in one's ears? Gah! I feel like such a migraine freak, but I know that I am not alone. I am trying desperately hard to "make lemonade" out of this situation. And... I'm really hoping that when I wake up in the morning, the robin songs will be music and not irritating noise.
I am grateful for what good health I do have - truly, I am! But sometimes I need to vent. I will try really hard to post gratitude entries to this blog this week.
I doubt if anyone I know is reading this, and that's okay. I just need to express it.
Ta Ta For Now, Pooh Fans. Next Pooh picture I color, the sky will be pink and the grass will be purple. I feel like being unconventional... and maybe - just maybe - like perhaps coloring outside the lines.
- Miss Chris