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Friday, March 21, 2008

Rambling Randomly Again!


Perhaps it was that "high" associated with the heady new appliance scent which hit me between the eyes like a locomotive. New Maytag washing machines have been known to do these things to women in my family... but after throwing a load of dark colored clothes into the washer, I felt so energized by the Secret Maytag New Washing Machine Aroma that I felt compelled to spend some measurable time on the Air-Dyne in another part of the basement.


This was not a smart thing to do, for a number of reasons. Chief of which are: (1) I'm not over the flu yet and now I've got a whopping fever and headache again - when will I ever learn to not push so fast?, and (2) my newly de-casted wrist was definitely NOT ready for the workout. Ouch.
So, here I sit in front of my favorite appliance (nothing to beat the smell of new computer... I keep on telling myself that I need to harness my dad's chemistry prowess in developing a non-aerosol spray of "New Dell Computer" or, for you Apple people, "Fresh Macintosh". I digress. My computer is one year and 8 months old. It doesn't smell quite new any longer. In fact, I think it smells like it needs to have a lot of cat hair and a lot of dust cleaned out of it. But, it smells newer than my upstairs computer, and I am happy.


Oh come ON! You know I'm not crazy! I know that numerous ones of you are so geeky that you aren't sneaking Easter candy ahead of Easter Sunday. Nooooo. Some of you are so geeky that you are sniffing new SOFTWARE before you find your Easter baskets! And frankly, I am one of the geekiest ones here. If I were testing perfume from Christian Dior or Estee Lauder, I can guarantee you that I'd be tempted to choose "New Software" over Dior's Miss Dior or Lauder's Pleasures. Then again, perhaps if I chose that, I would only be attractive to men with geekly tendencies, and that's something I don't want!!! I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT MY BOYFRIEND TO BE A GEEK! I want him to notice me, and maybe spend a little time with ME instead of his mistress the computer and his gaming buddies!!! (For the record, Tom is not a geek. You may all breathe a collected deep, relieved sigh on my behalf.)


I digress yet again. I remind myself too darned much of Diane Chambers on Cheers who was forever and always saying "I digress". Sigh.


As a result of my over-exuberant workout, I sit here at my favorite appliance (the computer, though if you guessed my bread machine please know you are uncannily close to knowing everything there is to know about how my mind operates!), swilling ice water and Extra Strength Tylenol for fever control and headache, and bathing my burning cheeks and forehead with a cool, damp wash cloth. Darn. We're running out of clean wash cloths. This might mean that I will have to get out of my computer chair at 3 a.m. and do a load of towels in the intoxicating-scented washing machine. And we all know what trouble THAT bodes.


Did I mention that it is in the mid 30's Fahrenheit here? At nearly 2 a.m.? In Mid-March? And that my dear dad, to aid me in the throes of the chills, from which I suffered AGONIES of shaking and teeth chattering over the past four days, turned the thermostat up? And that I would gladly not only strip down to my undies, but would also gladly roll in the snow to cool down my body temperature at this moment? Read my lips: 35 degrees in the middle of the night, in the middle of March, in the middle of Wisconsin IS TOO STINKING WARM TOO SOON! It wasn't too many nights ago that we were around Zero at this hour! EGADS!


In order to protect my neighbors, I will NOT go outside to roll in the snow to cool down. I am merely changing from flannel jammies to summer shorts (which still fit! Yay!!!!) and a short sleeve t-shirt.
I fully expect to wake up at 7 this morning with a raging case of pneumonia.


***
Isn't God good for having invented ICE?!


Isn't God wonderful for having created mankind with the brains to invent fridge/freezers?


And God bless the man or woman who invented ice cube trays! No! I don't have a fancy shmancy ice maker on my fridge, and from what I understand from my mom, I am better off without. The ice maker is invariably the first thing which breaks on my mom's fancy fridge/freezer. Personally, I think it's because her dog has put a curse on the darned thing. My mom's little white dog HATES, LOATHES, and ABOMINATES the ice maker - to the point where this little dog practically needs what my mom calls "Puppy Prozac". Oy vey!


Where was I?


Isn't God good for giving us:
(1) Ice Cream
(2) Popsicles (especially Cherry, Banana, and Rootbeer)
(3) Ice Cream
(4) Fudgesicles
and
(5), (6), and (7) ICE CREAM?


Let's hear it for God!

***

















Oh my. Am I feeling the onset of the Full Moon ALREADY? The nerve of me! I had better find a means of harnessing some of the power of this lunacy for Paula's Bloggers Ball on March 29th. I hear that I have been honored with the droll role of Court Jester. Batten down the hatches! I had better stock up on caffeine, PEEPS, and Dr. Pepper flavored Jelly Belly Beans. Remember... the first part of my healthy eating agenda this month is to cut back on my fats by 1/3. While I go through peanut butter withdrawal, I will indulge in just a few PEEPS. I know! You are not fooled by my dysfunctional, addict reasoning! I know what you're all thinking: "Just a FEW Peeps, my foot! This girl needs to start attending a 12-step program for PEEPS Addicts, and soon!"


While we're on the interesting subject of PEEPS (do you girls like the Pink Bunnies or the Purple Bunnies best? I'm undecided....) it's time to discuss something Very Important: Please do NOT treat your PEEPS inhumanely. Do not cut them with scissors! Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate them! And certainly do not nuke the poor little things! They have feelings, too! And, if you have access to chemicals - dare I say it - please do NOT try to dissolve PEEPS in acetone. It won't work, and you would cause the poor little PEEPS unbelievable pain and suffering to have you try. Please... have a heart. Be kind to your PEEPS.


***
Well, that was enough weirdness out of me for a little while. I am going to prepare my spring reading list. Jen at nyisutter is always involved with these great seasonal reading challenges, and I'm uncertain whether I - who am not a homeschooler - am welcome to join or not. If not, I will just post my own things here without joining the webring those ladies are in. Jen, enlighten me!


As is evidenced by my blogging delirium tonight, I really need to spend less time computing and more time reading. More time reading non-fiction. Fiction comes easily.


Good Night, John Boy!


Blessings Galore,



Miss Chris









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