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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Technology

So my Outlook Express went all doozyfinkel and krudflop this weekend. After spending quality (and quantity) time with two very nice tech support guys from Verizon, I have been apprised of the true fact that it is a Microsoft problem and not a Verizon Online problem. One option was to surf the nightmare that is Microsoft's online tech support (not being a trillion gazillionaire, I can't afford the muchos dollaros to call Microsoft on the phone for support...), I was told that it might POSSIBLY work out in the long run if I wiped out everything on my main hard drive and did a reformat - but then again, it might possibly NOT work out if I did that.

Seeing as how I would almost rather have both root canal and major surgery than do a reformat/reinstallation of gobs of necessary software at this time, I opted to go searching for a new email client. Read: This is very traumatic for me. I have been using Outlook Express for nine years. Using webmail and/or using a new email client is tantamount in trauma value to my first day of kindergarten in 1970.

But, brave and stalwart emailing soul that I am, I decided to download and install Mozilla Thunderbird, and I have to say I like it. I don't like it as well as OE, but I like it. And if the happy new friendship which TBird and I hath forged doesn't last, at least there is comfort in the fact that Eudora is going opensource (in other words, FREE) sometime soon.

*Pauses here to unwrap yet another peppermint candy cane *

***

In other technology news, my new Hewlett-Packard 4-in-1 machine decided that it has issues with scanning. It's like hiring a maid at high salary, only to find out that she/he doesn't do windows. I can make copies. I can print. I can fax. But I cannot scan. So *insert heavy, weary, frustrated sigh here* I have no choice but to unplug the whole dagnabbed thing, uninstall all the pertinent software, and then reinstall everything plus get down on my hands and knees behind the @@#$% computer and plug everything in again.

I think this can wait until I have been migraine-free for a couple of days. Or, I could just decide that the world is not going to be shocked if I stay up until 4 a.m. swearing at all this technological crap that I lived happily without for nearly four decades. After all, I no longer live a hop, skip, and a jump from the county mental hospital! I live four whole miles away now. They have enough poor souls on that end of town to keep them busy before they get bored enough to come and take me away to the Home for the Perpetually Technologically Retarded.

***

Add to this that the Kodak printer dock prints landscape oriented pictures in a portrait oriented fashion, and vice versa this week.

*Insert Beatles' "Helter Skelter" music here*

***

I think I really ought to go out and get some Really Big Rocks, and then when the computer is in hibernation, stone the damned thing and all its miserable peripherals!!!!! But knowing my computer and peripherals, they would probably belch and snort and fart like a giant hyena and then throw the Really Big Rocks back at me!

*Pauses here to bite off a big chunk of peppermint candy cane. Nervous crunching to be heard*

***

My mom got Comcast digital phone service a couple of months ago. It's taken her two months to ascertain that she can no longer fax. So today, a kind soul came over and taught her how to scan the invoices and order forms for her interior design business so she can email them instead of fax them.

***

I am pretty much over the "every cell, muscle, tissue, joint, and blood vessel in my body is throbbing like I was hit by the Polar Express influenza from Hades"*. Then to celebrate this weekend, I thought, "what the heck?! I haven't had a migraine in a couple of weeks; why don't I have a really super bad one for an extra long time... gee... wouldn't a 50 plus hour migraine be fun? *heavy, heavy sarcasm*

I'm now back on Feverfew. It helps. It beats being dizzy and groggy.

***

During the course of this blog entry, I have ingested three peppermint candy canes, and my poor kitten Maggie McGee is sitting on the arm of my computer chair, stoned out of her gourd on a peppermint high. Poor kitty. She will have a hangover in the morning.

Okay, 'nuff grousing out of me. I am feeling a need for a good long vacation from this miserable, infernal thing which I have such a love/hate relationship with - my computer. I think I will try to take some time off and crochet some more mittens, scarves, and socks.

*Exits muttering to self: "Where is my beloved Siberian Spoon Warmer crochet pattern?*

Currently Listening
Emperor's New Band
By This Train
"Technology"